Evaluation

The Theme of my project is Childhood & the Loss of Innocence, drawn from the main theme of Memories/Faded/Traces. I was inspired by a collection of old costume dolls in my possession, mixed with classical & more contemporary images of hell. I drew on these twin inspirations & others stemming from these, such as old children’s relics & the idea of repressed bad memories trying to metaphorically crawl out & have ended up with a mock final piece which is supposed to be reminiscent of a children’s pop-up book with the gruesome dolls I made crawling out. The dolls represent terrible memories which have been repressed in a hellish torture by being flayed (hence why they are red & do not have skin), a metaphor for the brain trying to strip memories of their pain, but really only making it worse with time. The book represents the entire collection of childhood memories, some of which are nice (represented by the pages of the prayer book & the occasional leaf left white) & most of which are unpleasant (the red, black, dolls, rips & other materials within) but all of which are bound in a scab-like wooden shell, hardened over time to represent the way people try to forget their pasts.  

I explored the work of older artists such as Gustav Doré, Hieronymus Bosch & Fra Angelico (all for their images of hell), with more contemporary works by Clive Barker (more graphic hell imagery), Harry Clarke (his illustrations for both children’s books & macabre literature provide a contrast which resonates well with my theme) & Benjamin Lacombe (whose similarly contrasting work for children & adults & his pop-up books provide inspiration).

 

For my final piece I have started working in a more three dimensional format, combining painting, collage & sculpture to hopefully create an interesting end product. I experimented with creating texture by gluing bark onto paper & then painting over it with PVA glue, red ink & black ink to create a scab-like effect. I mixed this with papier-mâché newspaper & prayer book pages which merge with the bodies of the papier-mâché dolls so it appears that their bodies are growing out of the surface they are on, in this case the cover of the book. 

 

I have always held an interest in portrayals of life after death, especially as I have never believed in an afterlife. The strange & disgusting ways superstitious people decide they will be tortured in their futures is fascinating to me, as I am a firm believer that we create our own hells. This is illustrated by the book that has for so long been scabbed shut; it is a representation of the internal hell created by memories & thoughts. Opening the book has released inner demons; the deformed, fleshy dolls trying to escape from the pages. I dabbled with some freeform poetry on some of the pages to create a confusing window into the subconscious. Whether this work is a window into my own subconscious is something I have pondered over. I think there are definitely parts of myself in the piece but how much of it is entirely personal & how much is based on my observations of other people I do not know.

I feel like I should have used more personal artefacts to create this work; more photographs, more letters, more old relics. I will try to incorporate more of my own history (not that there is much to speak of) into my next project. I also should have planned the piece more carefully & spent more time on preparation. I have always felt pressed for time throughout the course of this project so for the next project I will have to organise my time more efficiently.