The Theme of my project is Childhood & the Loss
of Innocence, drawn from the main theme of Memories/Faded/Traces. I was
inspired by a collection of old costume dolls in my possession, mixed with
classical & more contemporary images of hell. I drew on these twin
inspirations & others stemming from these, such as old children’s relics
& the idea of repressed bad memories trying to metaphorically crawl out
& have ended up with a mock final piece which is supposed to be reminiscent
of a children’s pop-up book with the gruesome dolls I made crawling out. The
dolls represent terrible memories which have been repressed in a hellish
torture by being flayed (hence why they are red & do not have skin), a
metaphor for the brain trying to strip memories of their pain, but really only
making it worse with time. The book represents the entire collection of
childhood memories, some of which are nice (represented by the pages of the
prayer book & the occasional leaf left white) & most of which are
unpleasant (the red, black, dolls, rips & other materials within) but all
of which are bound in a scab-like wooden shell, hardened over time to represent
the way people try to forget their pasts.
I explored the work of older artists
such as Gustav Doré, Hieronymus Bosch & Fra Angelico (all for their images
of hell), with more contemporary works by Clive Barker (more graphic hell
imagery), Harry Clarke (his illustrations for both children’s books &
macabre literature provide a contrast which resonates well with my theme) &
Benjamin Lacombe (whose similarly contrasting work for children & adults
& his pop-up books provide inspiration).
For my final piece I have started
working in a more three dimensional format, combining painting, collage &
sculpture to hopefully create an interesting end product. I experimented with
creating texture by gluing bark onto paper & then painting over it with PVA
glue, red ink & black ink to create a scab-like effect. I mixed this with
papier-mâché newspaper & prayer book pages which merge with the bodies of
the papier-mâché dolls so it appears that their bodies are growing out of the
surface they are on, in this case the cover of the book.
I have always held an interest in portrayals of
life after death, especially as I have never believed in an afterlife. The
strange & disgusting ways superstitious people decide they will be tortured
in their futures is fascinating to me, as I am a firm believer that we create
our own hells. This is illustrated by the book that has for so long been
scabbed shut; it is a representation of the internal hell created by memories
& thoughts. Opening the book has released inner demons; the deformed, fleshy
dolls trying to escape from the pages. I dabbled with some freeform poetry on
some of the pages to create a confusing window into the subconscious. Whether
this work is a window into my own subconscious is something I have pondered
over. I think there are definitely parts of myself in the piece but how much of
it is entirely personal & how much is based on my observations of other
people I do not know.
I feel like I should have used more personal artefacts
to create this work; more photographs, more letters, more old relics. I will
try to incorporate more of my own history (not that there is much to speak of)
into my next project. I also should have planned the piece more carefully &
spent more time on preparation. I have always felt pressed for time throughout
the course of this project so for the next project I will have to organise my
time more efficiently.